Communicating my decision.

I had built a life in Perth. Friends so close they were hard to distinguish from family. Professional relationships that were beyond just colleagues, managers and clients. These people had helped me too conquer demons and scale mountains I could never have done alone. Some of them had spent the better part of a decade by my side, helping me and guiding me to reach this point.

And it was now time to tell them that in just  a few short months I would be leaving there side.

Communicating my decision was an incredibly anxiety inducing experience with countless restless nights overthinking how to tell people. Nausea at thought of how some might react. But without going through this I could not take my life where it needed to go

My best friend was the first to know, in no small part because he was integral part of my decision making process. This was an easy conversation his unwaivering faith in my ability to achieve was what pushed me through all the barriers I had put up so far.

12698233_10153676013884279_6371916171876899062_oThe next people that I informed of my decision was my family. These were the people that would be there no matter what, that would had always and would always have my back. They are the foundation that I have always been able to build on.

To no surprise they were ecstatic, I was coming home! After so long apart, missed birthdays and births. No more missed Christmas or Easter! I was going to present for the birth of my next nephew(or niece).img_0959.jpg

So far it had been smooth sailing, it gave me confidence that I things might be ok. That maybe those around me would be happy I was going after my dreams. Little did I realise how wrong I was.

I did not expect the next conversation to go down well, I expected tears and anger. Resentment and heart break.

I broke the news to my then girlfriend. At first she was all in she would come too, this wasn’t a surprise discussion she was aware it was coming. I didn’t expect this feeling to last long. And it didn’t. I wasn’t going to be in a position to help financially and there was no way she could afford the move on her own, with no friends or family at the destination she quickly pulled out.

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From there things went sour; the next few months were a vicious cycle of punishment for my decision and a desire to make it work. In the end we cut ties. Our goals didn’t align anymore and there was no recovery from the brutal toll taken out on each other due to the resentment.

In many ways I still hadn’t had the conversation that was most important to moving away. I still had to inform my mentor and manager. I had employment agreement that had to be honoured and it contained a notice period. But most importantly once this one done it was done. I could recover from all the other people I told I was leaving. But quitting my job would put me in a near irreversible position.

 

It was time to lock in the move. I scheduled a time to meet and with hat in hand I informed him of my decision. To my shock he was completely unsurprised. He had expected this for a long time and was completely supportive of my decision. Fortunately I had excelled in my current position and was well respected so rather than let me quote he was able to find me a transfer to a site I would be living. This ultimately did not work out due to a myriad of factors.

Lastly I had to tell my ex-wife we still, to this day own property together, this was a short conversation with no response allowed or required. I was leaving and all future communication could be left for lawyers.

It would mark the last time I would see these guys though

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Once the dust had settled and I had taken the time out to have all the difficult conversations one thing was apparent.

Almost everyone was excited for me. The people that surround you and truly care for you will be nothing but supportive and happy for you to chase your dreams.

There may be those that oppose it, but in the end the ones that truly matter and the ones that will help you reach your goals will still be by your side. I am sorry for any pain this decision caused. But I will never regret it and I am so glad I chose to do it.

And if your lucky like me you will reaffirm and improve your current relationships, meet new and wonderful people and be happier everyday; than you were yesterday.

 

3 thoughts on “Communicating my decision.

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